Becoming Fearless with Confidence Coach Andie Tickner | Podcast Ep 11

Guest: Andie Tickner

I’m Andie, the confidence coach, living life unapologetically. You, in full expression of all your awesomeness, is what sets my heart and soul on fire!  

With over 30 years corporate experience under my belt, my sweet spot is empowering women to navigate their career with confidence in a way that feels truly authentic and aligned with who they are. Being fierce, fearless and passionately in pursuit of living and speaking your truth in a world where convention rules, creates fulfilment, freedom, and success on your terms, and it’s absolutely what I’m here to make happen for you.

Connect with Andie

LinkedIn @andietickner

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Podcast Transcript

Nicci OMara

Running a small business is never smooth sailing. And for many those bumps in the road cause us to play small. Only problem is the magic happens when you get outside your comfort zone, just like you did the day you decided to start your business. Today we’re joined by confidence coach Andie Tickner, who’s here to help you find the courage and confidence to step into your true potential, so that you can run, grow and scale your business in a way that feels authentic and aligned to you. The Simply 

Hello, and welcome to the Simply Standout Parketing podcast. I’m your host, Nicci O’Mara, and joining me today is the fearless fun loving, straight talking Andy Ticknor. With over 30 years experience in the corporate world, Andy’s sweet spot is empowering women to navigate their career with confidence, being fierce, fearless and passionately in pursuit of living and speaking your truth in a world where convention rules creates fulfilment, freedom and success on your terms. And it’s what Andy is here to make happen for you. Welcome to the show Andy, it is wonderful to have you here today.

Andie Tickner

Thank you, Nicci, I’m so excited to be here and have this conversation with you.

Nicci OMara

Oh, it’s great. Now look, you are the owner of a business called the Roar Truth. So you’re a confidence coach. Now, what exactly is a confidence coach? And why did you start the Raw Truth?

Andie Tickner

Oh, how long have you got? Yeah, it’s a business that I absolutely love. I might just take a little step back in answering that question. Because how I arrived in having my own business is quite, I guess a bit of an interesting story. So I spent over 30 years in the corporate world, you know, I’ve worked in both the UK and here in Australia. And I’ve done many different things. I’ve worked for very big media, advertising, entertainment, and music organisations. I’ve worked in the world of creative and content agencies. And I’ve always been in a position predominately in the last 20 or so years, once I earned my stripes, in being in a position where I really leading those businesses, it’s people and clients, into growth. And I absolutely love that world, I had a real ball, I really did. Like I’ve had some amazing experiences and collected some fantastic memories of doing some things that I think are really challenging, and I really thrive on on challenge. 

But I guess about four years ago, I came to a point where I really felt in order to be able to do more work in the world where I could actually impact people on a larger scale and in a more diverse way, that that meant having my own business and coaching. And really, I guess just developing and helping people was always at its core. Like I always wanted to help people. But I guess for me, what was important is, how do you show up in this world being exactly who you are, when, especially with the world corporate being very, very conventional, very rule orientated, often quite masculine. And certainly for me, whilst I had an amazing time, I was often told that I was too much, or could I just tone myself down? Or could I just edit myself? Or could I just get this checked? Or could I just do something else that wasn’t really in alignment with me. 

And that’s where I started to really lean into that and felt like having my own business where I could help other people and now it’s predominantly women, really empower them to navigate that world with confidence. So being able to show up exactly who you are in alignment with yourself and in authenticity with yourself, but still being able to operate in a in a world or an environment which has its own values and I guess its own ways of doing things. How do those two worlds come together? So that for me was really important. 

The Roar Truth is because I am very much direct, straight up tell it how it is kind of girl, and I believe in that and that doesn’t mean that I don’t get to be kind and compassionate and loving, I am. But at the same time, I like to call things how they are. And I believe in calling a spade a spade. So that’s where the roar truth came from. And then the confidence really is, I guess a nicer way of saying- self worth is at the heart of everything, right? So if we don’t have worth and value in ourselves, how can we expect that from anyone else? How can we expect anyone else to have that for us? And how are we going to live in alignment with what really feels good to us if we don’t feel good about ourselves?

Nicci OMara

Oh, absolutely. I think the work that you’re doing is amazing. And self worth is everything and having the confidence to show up every day. I remember someone said to me, not that long ago, they said, show up like you’ve got 10,000 followers or 100,000 followers, even if you’ve only got one. Because it’s so important to actually get out of the shadows, stand up and, and show up for the people that you’re actually delivering service to. So I think that’s wonderful.

Andie Tickner

And show it for yourself, first and foremost, you know, it’s like, yeah I love that, that you’re saying that. To me, it doesn’t matter how many followers you’ve got, or fans or what the audience is, it’s the people that are in there that really matter. And your people will be your people. But it is about always coming back to what works for you what feels good to you. And then everything else will fall into place.

Nicci OMara

Oh, absolutely. And having the confidence in yourself to be able to do that is wonderful. Now you’ve led an extraordinary life, and you’ve had lots of challenges, lots of triumphs as well, what makes you jump out of bed every single morning.

Andie Tickner

I guess there’s a drive in me to just be the best version of me. Like I love to be, I guess I love having this life where I get to learn and I’ve got a real thirst for knowledge. But I really want to help people. And that sounds probably a bit cliche, but I do, you know, I have a real drive for evolving and growing and seeing that for myself. But also seeing that in others, like one of the things that I always say is that I see the potential in others that they can’t yet see for themselves. And that really does drive me because when someone sat in front of me, and they’re feeling lost, they’re feeling directionless, they’re stuck there. But they’ve got this knowing in their soul that there’s something more for them. I can see it. And then really, I’m showing them that possibility or possibilities that are there for them and helping them step into it. And that’s what drives me.

Nicci OMara

I think that’s, yeah, that’s fantastic. And that’s the thing, if we don’t jump out of bed and want to actually help our people, you know, our audience, then yes, I can see why you wouldn’t want to jump out of bed. And I mean, that’s the thing that certainly makes me get out of bed every morning, I must say.

Andie Tickner

I would also just say, I think there’s something in there, which is about wanting more for myself to you know, like, I get out of bed. And not every day is easy. You know, running your own business, as you would know Nicci is the roller coaster ride of your life, you know, and there’s all those memes that are around online, which is like this, literally up and down. You know, one day like, yeah, I’m on top of the world. And the next day like, Oh, God, like what’s happened, you know that people have self doubt. But there’s a drive in you to keep going because what you’re doing it for is just something innate. That’s going this is for you. And I go this is for me. This is a business that I really love and believe in and I want to make it work.

Nicci OMara

Absolutely that roller coaster can happen all in one day some days. 100%, being the top of the world and then someone, or something, will keep you crashing down and then you go okay, got to pick myself back up again. But it hate that that’s part of it. I suppose that I do love it every day is different. And yeah, I love my work. And that’s why I do it. Otherwise, otherwise I’d be doing something else. But yeah, small business, you definitely have to choose something that you love doing. Because otherwise Yeah.

Andie Tickner

Otherwise. Yeah, it’s like, you know, a lot of people leave the corporate world or the world of being employed because they’ve got a passion for something else. So they didn’t love what they were doing before. So you’ve really got to love it, I completely agree. Because when you’re at the gnarly end of it, which you’re going to experience, you’ve got to remember what you’re there for.

Nicci OMara

Ah, yeah, yeah. Totally agree. Look, so many of us play small, for fear of failure and a whole variety of limiting beliefs that we all have. What advice would you give to someone wanting to find the courage and the confidence to, to really step up and reach their true potential?

Andie Tickner

Embrace the failure? Yes fail! Actually go and fail. Because part of having confidence, like for me, confidence is not about some shiny idea of, you know, I always have this like visual of like Beyonce becasue she’s confident, because she looks a certain way, actually confidence, or to be confident does take courage. And it also takes a capacity to experience emotion, and to feel and experienced failure. So the more you can sit and experience what it feels like to try things and they don’t work. And to keep adjusting and playing with that until it does is what will move you forward. Because obviously, confidence yes comes from experience. But it also comes from this belief that even though you can’t see it all coming to life just yet, you believe that it’s possible to do so. And the only way to get through that and get from where you are to where you want to go, is to fail. Yes.

Nicci OMara

And really to fail is it’s not a failure. It’s something that you learn. Yeah, you either win, or you learn. That’s what I always tell my kids, it’s like, okay, failure doesn’t really mean you’re failing at something. It’s like, Okay, what have you actually learned from this? It’s always a good question to ask.

Andie Tickner

Yeah. And I think people want to skip the failure part, because obviously, they just want to get straight to the end result of like, whatever that might mean for them. And I think when you experience failure, what happens then is that your thought tells you something, and you make that mean something about you, that you’re not good enough, when actually, it’s just an opportunity to reflect on. What did I do? What happened? What worked, what didn’t work? What could adjust going forward, and then take your next step forward. You don’t need to make that mean that you’re not good enough, that you can’t do the job that you know, any of those things. And that tends to be what happens. And that’s what I mean about really sitting in that emotion is being able to delineate between what’s the reality, if you’re actually just trying something and just getting stuck in there rolling your sleeves up and giving it a go, to you then jumping from that not working into making it mean that you’re not enough, and that this will never work? And that’s what we do, right?

Nicci OMara

Oh, absolutely. That’s, I mean, that’s what I’ve done for a very long time. You go, oh, what happens if it doesn’t work? Well, what will it mean? What will people think about me and and all the rest of it? And it’s not until you get over that and go, Okay, well, you know what, no one’s probably thinking anything. They’re too worried about themselves, doing their own thing. So it’s not until you realise that yeah, ah, okay. Well, this going wrong taught me this. And so now I can actually, and then you sort of, you know, hone in on, what should I be doing? What will work? And then you have some wins, and it’s fantastic. But it’d be great not to have failure. But I think if we didn’t have failure, we wouldn’t learn anything.

Andie Tickner

Yeah, I actually think it is important to have what is considered failure, because it’s literally the only way to get from A to B, you know, when you think about anybody that’s created anything in this world, no matter how big or small, the only way they’re ever able to do something that was original, is by trying a bunch of things that didn’t work to get there. And, you know, somebody said to me, if your what is considered the success is at door 251, but you give up door 250, you’ll never realise that and if there is this capacity to have to just keep going right? But knowing that, with every failure, you just understand more, really, it’s just this really wonderful way of being able to look at it as it’s another piece to the puzzle that you now understand that you didn’t yet have visibility on before. So if you think about, I guess, kids, you know, and often we get this analogy too, which is when you learn to walk when you’re a kid when you first fall over you don’t go well, I’ve never trying to walk again. At that point, you kind of compute it because your brain isn’t working in that way. But you just keep getting up, you keep going, and then eventually you walk, right. But as adults, we censor ourselves and we, you know, make it mean something that it doesn’t need to be. And that prevents us from moving forward. And a lot of the people that succeed, it’s just because they keep going. That’s it.

Nicci OMara

Yes, yes. And also, a lot of the time, we don’t see what happens behind closed doors. So someone could have tried a webinar, or they could have tried selling a new product, or whatever it happened to be, or Facebook ads or anything, they could have tried it 50 times before it succeeded. But all we see is the success. Yeah, we didn’t realise that they know that it went wrong with so many times beforehand, and that they just kept on going until they worked ou what worked for them.

Andie Tickner

Yeah. And I think, you know, the really important part to all of this is what I teach is, it’s your thoughts, right? The thoughts that you have about the circumstances that are in your space, that really drive how you feel and the action that you take, and the results that you get. You know, that’s, that’s super important. So if you can think about,what’s your mindset like? What’s your belief around what it is that you’re doing? What does that get to look like? And also, are you in alignment with what your heart and soul say? Like? Are you following that? Or are you following somebody else? Somebody else’s idea of how you how you should do things?

Nicci OMara

Oh, absolutely. Now, going back to beliefs and thoughts, how do you go about developing or starting to develop a rock solid belief?

Andie Tickner

The first thing is awareness. Really, you know, it’s understanding, what beliefs do you currently hold? You know a lot of us say things to ourselves, as if it’s gospel. I say this a lot, you know, when I work with my clients, and they come out with things, and I, and I reflect them back. And they don’t even realise they’ve said it, right? Like, do you realise this is your belief, and it’s not your belief, it’s just something that you’ve picked up from conditioning or from somebody else, and you’ve held it in your brain? Like, it’s the belief, and it’s the only one that’s available to you? And actually, there’s millions more that are available to you. So it’s really having that awareness in the moment that what you’re telling yourself, does that really serve you? And if it does, then what’s a better one, and that doesn’t mean that you need to jump to some Pollyanna state of belief that isn’t isn’t true for you, because obviously, there’s got to be that alignment with what your brain will actually believe. But it is about very well, if I’m believing something that doesn’t serve me, I’m likely not getting the result that I want. So if I can really look at it that and think Well, how do I want to feel? What’s the thought that I actually want to have about the situation, change that, then that will actually put you into a state of action, which will get a better result for you, inevitably, it will, because the way you think about it will drive that.

Nicci OMara

Yes. And at the end of the day, business is all about getting results, getting results for you know, whether it’s for yourself, as well as for the or customers or clients.

Andie Tickner

Yeah, and I think when you look at if you want to make more money, or you want to start a business, or whatever it might be, but if your mindset is, I’ll never make money, the result is you’ll never make money because you’re perpetuating that with a thought that drives it. Versus choosing a thought, which is, you know, I can make money. And then you’re like, Okay, well, I can make money, how can I make money, because you can then teach your brain to drive you into an action and come up with a whole bunch of ideas that will support it. But when you’re in that mindset of I can’t make money, or I don’t know what my business is, that’s not going to put you in a state where you can come up with anything that’s going to be helpful.

Nicci OMara

Yes, yeah. Look, I totally believe that a person’s money mindset, I mean, we grow up with, with being taught, so many things that we tend to take on the money mindset of our parents a lot of the time. And, you know, would you say it’s, you know, it’s fair to say that someone’s money mindset, you know, and their thoughts and beliefs around money, actually really does play a major role in the success of their business and their ability to grow and scale a business.

Andie Tickner

Hmm. Look, I think, I don’t think there’s a short answer to that. But there’s a yes and a no to it. So I think, I mean, yes, there’s a conditioning which obviously, you can change. So again, that comes to having an awareness first, like, what are your beliefs around money? You know, sometimes I work with people in this. I mean, this is true of my corporate career actually. And money is something I really love to talk about. I’ve always loved it, I’ve always believed in it, I’ve always believed that I can work with clients in a way where they feel happy to give the company that I’m representing money for services and value in return. And I’ve never doubted myself ever. And the more money I get to negotiate the better, like, I just find it fun. The way that I look at it is It’s fun. It’s entertaining. It’s a game, right? But I do work with people who don’t have that belief. And I do believe that not only holds them back, but it also holds the people that are around them back because there is, I guess, this scarcity, or this fear of asking for something that they feel is going to get rejected. And again when you come at it from that perspective, then yes, you will, most likely validate that with the results that you get, right. So I think yes, to a degree, but I also think that there is sometimes just an honesty about where’s your business at? 

Where is it that you wanting to step into an and actually having a bit of an audit process around what needs to happen in order for you to be able to grow and scale it? I think part of it is money. Yes. But I don’t think it’s everything. Because sometimes the ability to grow and scale your business is also looking at, yes, your beliefs. But also what role are you playing? What role do you want to play? Are you in a position where you can outsource some of the things that you don’t like or are not your strengths to somebody else? Are you in your business instead of focusing on the future of your business? So I think it’s a much bigger conversation and answer then that, you know, and that, again, that’s the work that I do is when I’m working with smaller businesses, particularly if they want to grow and scale but in reality, they don’t want to step out of the day to day. And some of that is to do with, I guess, fear of like, well, what happens if I do grow this? And does that mean, I’m then going to lose control? And I really like control, so it’s a more complex issue? I feel anyway.

Nicci OMara

Absolutely. That will take years to, or a long time to work through. And as you say, there’s so many other other components that come in and affect scaling and growth. And, and that’s also things like things that are out of your control. I mean, you look at COVID, you look at the economy, whether there’s all these businesses who are affected by things that are also out of their control. But if we can work on the things that are in our control, that’s always a good start. You do a lot of work with with business leaders and teaching them to be fearless giving them the confidence that they need. Have you got a couple of strategies that you’ve found work incredibly well in building confidence that, you know, people listening could actually start working on right now?

Andie Tickner

Yeah, I mean, I guess I’ve talked to it a little bit, really, which is, I mean, the first thing I really like to do is just have an honest look at what’s going on. You know, and I think part of having confidence in moving forward and being fearless is being honest and transparent about what you’re doing, where you’re spending your time, what you really want to be doing, where do you want the business to go? And how do we help you get there? So I think there’s a real awareness, practical, I guess, application that needs to be put into place first. Because, again, it’s a little bit more complex. It’s, you know, is it confidence in the person? Or is it confidence in the business? And obviously, those two do go together. But I think having that honest account of where you’re at in your business is really important. I think this willingness to fail, and to be in this more curious trial and error mode is really important. You know, how do we actually just start doing some things and seeing what comes back and letting go of this need to control which I see a lot is like, well, if I can just keep everything the way that I like it, then everything is going to be okay. But my question is well, whilst that might keep you safe, is that moving you forward? Is it putting you to growth? Do you feel more confident? Are you just feeling stuck where you are? So this willingness to experience failure and to remove control, and to start to open up and collaborate, you know, where can you, where can you get some help. Where can you and I think it’s really hard for people to ask for help, actually, particularly women. And this is true, whether you’re in, you know, full time employment, or you’re running your own business, I think to say, hey, actually, I could do with some help here. And that will give you confidence. 

I’ve had this discussion many times with people where, you know, man, I think I’m just incredibly good at winging it. You know, they don’t know the answer to everything, but they know what they want. And they know that old mate Bob on the golf course will help them, but we feel like we need to have all of our ducks in a row, we can’t possibly go and ask for help. And yeah, actually, the more that we do that, the more we realise that we’re not alone, that there are many, many, many, many other women that are experiencing exactly what we’re experiencing. And this is testament because we’re having this conversation right now. And actually, a little help can go a long way.

Nicci OMara

It really can. And the things that you learn, I find, every single day, I learned something new. And a lot of that comes from talking to other people listening, you know, listening to podcasts or forming partnerships with others, because there is so much that I still have to learn. And it’s incredible how your lives change. And yeah, I totally agree that we, we do need to ask for help there. And there is so much help out there. It’s just a matter of, I suppose, identifying what you want help with first and then and then taking, taking that next step.

Andie Tickner

You only know what you know, right? Which is why actually having people in your world like, you know, I’m a big advocate of having coaches and mentors, and, you know, healers and different people with different modalities that can really support you. Because sometimes, you know, when you’re working with a coach, for example, you know, that you might be feeling a little bit like you’re spinning your wheels, but you don’t really know why, although it’s likely to do with your thoughts around it. But you sometimes you just need to bounce that and get that out in order for somebody else to show you what’s actually there. And for you to then face that and work through it. And sometimes it is more direct. Sometimes it’s like, hey, I want to do a webinar, has anyone ever done one before? Can you help me, or I need to set up my, you know, my MailChimp? You know, those things are like, yeah, we can go on Google, or we can ask people for those things. But when I think it comes to the more emotional aspect of us just building a business, then that’s where I think having coaches, mentors, guides, people in our lives that can support us is really helpful. And I think one of the other things just in terms of, you know, an ability to be fearless is actually an ability to be able to own what it is that you really want, and step into your own truth which exists within you. But often, we don’t feel like we can do that, we don’t give ourselves permission to just be us, again, for fear of judgement, or we have to do it a certain way, because that’s how all these other people are doing it. And that’s the work that I really care about, like that’s the work I love doing with people is showing them what is their potential, and allowing them to have the choice to step into that at their own pace. I see that a lot with I guess the small businesses that I work with, you know, that they may be doing incredibly well. But there’s also so much more potential and I will always ask the question, have you considered this? Have you considered that? If not, why not? And often that comes down to just too scared, ultimately. And yeah, and yet that if that was at least, oh, that would be so powerful.

Nicci OMara

And I think that is absolutely great advice for people to start actually looking at their business and they set themselves up, you know, to start growing and getting that confidence because that’s something that we all need to work on. Every single day. Unfortunately, it’s not something that just we can flick a switch. Yeah. So look, I think that’s a great place to end our conversations. So look, Andy, it has been wonderful to have you on today. I’ve learned a lot and I’m hoping our listeners will have to. So thank you very much. And yeah, no doubt we’ll probably be speaking again.

Andie Tickner

I hope so. Thanks, Nicci. Thanks for having me. I think what you’re doing is epic. And I just love that. You’re offering this to your audience, you know, because we need it. You know, we need people like you.

Nicci OMara

Oh, thank you very much. So, anyway, thanks. 

Andie Tickner

Thanks, Nicci. See you.